Rebuilding me

This is a mistake. I am making exactly the same fucking mistakes I have made in the past: Too many things, all the fuck at once. I try and do everything, change everything, and all at once and I fuck it up every single fucking time. I do this every time. Every time I try and "change", or whatever, I gotta go balls deep straight out of the gate and I get my dick bitten off. Every single fucking time. First it was a blog, then a book, then a podcast, then a tv show, now a blog again. Only, ordinarily I am also trying to start working out, or running.... to be clear, and to say it again, I try and do it all at once. Quit smoking, start working out, start a blog, start running, start a podcast, oh, and all the while, trying and save the failing marriage, working to prevent estrangement between me and my daughter, trying to keep open communication between me and my siblings, watching my mom die, dealing with my dad, trying to keep my job at a place that CONSTANTLY threatens your j...

That's what started this, 50 simple pleasures, and I'll get to that in a sec. Hi, my name is... Bob. For now. I am 47 years old, I am a grunt, I am a liar, and a thief, and who knows, maybe a god damn accidental murderer somewhere along the way. I am old, and getting older. I make a shit ton of mistakes, this god damn thing being one of them, every hour of every day. But, god damn it, maybe, just fucking maybe, it helps someone who may stumble over it. This blog, I mean. Sorry, lose track when I type sometimes. My fucking life right now is a god damn shambles. I mean like a shit fire shambles. I am old, I hate my fucking job almost as much as I hate the shit buckets I work with, I am lost in life, have no idea how the fuck I got here. Well, that's not true, I would imagine 40 years of shit decisions may have had something to do with it. Among other things. Side note: I sometimes consider myself a writer. In those times I make an effort to hone the things I type into c...